Despite the enticing appeal of being a lazy slug, I actually got dressed and went to where I needed to go this morning (as referenced in my previous post).
Change is in progress, step 2 will be calling the doctor's office on Monday to talk to the nutritionist I jumped ship on months ago.
As a reward for my good self deeds today (not dirty, don't be a perv), I will continue to be a lazy asshole for the rest of the weekend, except for some pilates.
XO
LB
PS: my coal powered computer won't let me comment on these posts anymore, so I'm totally not ignoring anyone. Know that I'm reading your comments, and responding to them by talking to my monitor. All witty and insightful responses, I swear.
Saturday, August 18, 2012
The Annoying Brain with Pompoms
Delinquent blogger, right here. By now, this should surprise none of you, as it doesn't surprise me. My delinquent habits don't surprise the hydro company either. Believe me.
Hopefully by re-emerging from the wordless pit I've been in, it will spark something in my brain to regain focus and control on the matters at hand.
Since leaving my beloved fat camp (how I miss it, I truly do, but the $$ just ain't there), I've managed to pack on 10 - 15 lbs that I had previously lost. That too, didn't surprise me, I knew before I stepped back on to the scale for the first time in months.
That annoying gain isn't the result of a knock-down, drag out binge of gargantuan proportions. Nope. It's a build up. It's a lack of energy. It's, well, the result of not paying attention, and not giving a fuck.
Therein lies the problem. I stopped caring for a while. Sure, it was a gradual gain, and it wasn't from anything particularly bad for me (well, except for the awesome ice cream that was on sale for what seemed like forever). My portions grew insane. My lack of exercise is bordering on historical. My choices, less that smart but not overly stupid.
I understand my brain, and i understand the fantastic ideas and revelations that exist in said brain, what i don't understand is what gets lost in the translation from thinking to doing. There's disconnected synapses, there, a wire gets cut before the great idea sees the light of day.
As much as I try not to beat the shit out of myself for lagging behind my brain, it's sooooo fucking annoying. That needs to change. Not to get all hippy-dippy/let's talk about feelings/hug it out earthmothersoulsister or anything, but I need to get happy and positive here. I need to make a positive change (again).
See? My brain is all over that shit. If it could have pompoms, it would be the head cheerleader. Isn't this a wonderful idea? Taking control? Being all you can be without joining the army? RAH RAH RAH!
But I can guarantee that once I get up from this chair, get dressed, and start in on what this morning's grand plan for self-recreation and life domination, I will see my knitting, or the lino block I'm carving, and I'll seriously consider doing that instead.
It's just a matter of denying that until later on today. It might just work.
Hopefully, I'll let you know how it turns out before another few months slip by.
XO
LB
Hopefully by re-emerging from the wordless pit I've been in, it will spark something in my brain to regain focus and control on the matters at hand.
Since leaving my beloved fat camp (how I miss it, I truly do, but the $$ just ain't there), I've managed to pack on 10 - 15 lbs that I had previously lost. That too, didn't surprise me, I knew before I stepped back on to the scale for the first time in months.
That annoying gain isn't the result of a knock-down, drag out binge of gargantuan proportions. Nope. It's a build up. It's a lack of energy. It's, well, the result of not paying attention, and not giving a fuck.
Therein lies the problem. I stopped caring for a while. Sure, it was a gradual gain, and it wasn't from anything particularly bad for me (well, except for the awesome ice cream that was on sale for what seemed like forever). My portions grew insane. My lack of exercise is bordering on historical. My choices, less that smart but not overly stupid.
I understand my brain, and i understand the fantastic ideas and revelations that exist in said brain, what i don't understand is what gets lost in the translation from thinking to doing. There's disconnected synapses, there, a wire gets cut before the great idea sees the light of day.
As much as I try not to beat the shit out of myself for lagging behind my brain, it's sooooo fucking annoying. That needs to change. Not to get all hippy-dippy/let's talk about feelings/hug it out earthmothersoulsister or anything, but I need to get happy and positive here. I need to make a positive change (again).
See? My brain is all over that shit. If it could have pompoms, it would be the head cheerleader. Isn't this a wonderful idea? Taking control? Being all you can be without joining the army? RAH RAH RAH!
But I can guarantee that once I get up from this chair, get dressed, and start in on what this morning's grand plan for self-recreation and life domination, I will see my knitting, or the lino block I'm carving, and I'll seriously consider doing that instead.
It's just a matter of denying that until later on today. It might just work.
Hopefully, I'll let you know how it turns out before another few months slip by.
XO
LB
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