B A F

When my sisters and I were kids, we played a game called TV Times. Actually, this game was played before our parents got together and before we all were thrown into the same house. At this point, Jenn and I still lived across the street from Norah and Helen.

The street we lived on, just a few blocks away from where I'm typing this, is in an older part of London that has gorgeous, big, old trees. Norah's house was lucky enough to have one on both sides of the driveway, and those trees made TV Times the best game going.

How it was played is simple: one kid stands by one tree, another kid stands by the other. One of the kids thinks of a television show and gives the clue using only the first letter of each word (H D for Happy Days, A I T F for All in the Family, etc) and when the opposing kid guessed it, both kids would launch into a run. You had to run across, touch the other tree and then hoof it back to your own tree and yell "BEAT!" before the other kid. Simple game but it garnered hours of laughter and "ummmmmmm"s. Of course, when I was very little, my answer for everything was Laverne and Shirley. Since I didn't know my alphabet yet, I would give clues like "R B A" and opposing sister would roll their eyes and say "laverne and shirley" and the race would be on.

how could they not humour this little cutie?


Hahahha man I loved that dress.

Anyhow, I'm taking you down this memory lane because lately, I feel like I'm in a never ending game of back and forth Weight Loss Tag. Up 2.4 last week, down 2.8 this week (YES.) Up 0.2 one week, down 0.1 the next. I feel like I'm stuck between two big trees, running back and forth and not getting anywhere.

It's really fucking frustrating, but what is kind of surprising is that there's no way I want to give up. My pal Diane pointed out a very important fact the other day: look at the difference from a year ago. I wasn't doing anything in terms of exercise and I was still in the early shaky days of weight loss. Now, I'm all about WW, the Y and attempting to put roller skates on my feet and not die. I walk to and from work, rarely ever taking any other mode of travel. i am focused and determined, and much more confident. So, thanks for pointing that out, tootie. Sometimes we need the good reminders.

But I swear to god, if i don't get out of the 270's soon, I'm gonna lose my motherfucking shit. :)

xo
lb

I shaved my legs for this blog.

I must love you guys. Why? Because of one lousy photo I would be posting, I got off my lazy Canadian ass and shaved my legs. I could have easily let it go, and chances are you wouldn't have even noticed. But no, I whipped out the razor out of respect, friends.

In the past couple of blogs, I have alluded to some sort of pants-shittingly exciting/terrifying thing I'm going to be doing. It involves these:


Meet my new roller skates. They are bitchin'. They will assist me in my quest to become a ref for our local roller derby league. I've wanted to do this for the past couple of years but the fear has held me back. Well, no more. I finally bit the bullet and took steps to make it happen. Can you believe that shit? I sure can't.

The timing of all this is pretty funny, since today's topic in the meeting was activity and what prevents us from participating in exercise etc. I am finally taking some firm steps toward achieving some goals. I'm gonna be a ref. On wheels. Holy shit, you have no idea how excited I am.

That being said, I'm in a fucking terrible mood at the moment. I'm so goddamn frustrated with a number of things, one of them is weight loss, or the lack thereof. I was up 2lbs at camp this morning. What a fucking piss off. I know of a couple of factors that contributed to it, but I'm still mighty cheesed off. Sometimes (like right now) I feel like this weight will be on me forever. I know it's not true, but it sure as shit feels like it.

bitch bitch bitch. whine whine whine. You know how it goes.

So, once again, I'm hitting the reset button and moving forward. That's all I can do right now. Start over and keep going. I'm hoping my frustration serves as fuel.

And I'm hoping my fucking shift key starts working again, this entry took twice as long to write because I kept having upper case appearing as lower case issues. SIGH. My life is so difficult. ahahah.

xo
lb

Consider it Spanked.

Down down down this week, a whole 2.4. Feels pretty damn good, especially because today is my 1 year mark, and I had hoped to see a good result.

A year ago, I made the best decision of my life and went to a meeting. I was miserable. I was sore. I was scared. But the minute I walked in there, I knew it was the right thing to do. I'm proud of the fact that I've come this far, and it's an excellent start to a better life.

Now, let me tell you what's up my ass about today's (and last week's) meetings: the chatty fatties behind me. It's awesome that they're there, making changes for themselves, all that. However, if I have to sit through another fucking meeting hearing them blather on and on about their new sweater dresses, how tights go with everything (EVERYTHING!), and how shitty it is that their new orthotics don't fit in their fucking Ugg boots properly, I'm going to fucking beat them to death with their huge, ugly, obnoxious purses.

And I will count it as motherfucking activity points.

If you're not there to listen and participate in the group discussion, don't stay for the fucking meeting. I sure as hell ain't gaining any insight or support listening to you ramble on about your completely unflattering but totally hip wardrobe.

Yes, this issue is well and truly up my ass, and if it continues, my big size 11 doc martens will be up theirs.

Whoo! that felt good. Almost broke a sweat typing it, that's how annoyed I am! ahahah

Exciting things happen this week, there will be a photo or two! YIPEEEE! Stay tuned...

peace out!
LB

Bad Case of Hot Dog Fingers.

o.2 lbs. From what I can figure, that's about a quarter cup of water, right?

If someone handed me a quarter cup of water to drink, I'd want more.

A quarter cup of water is hardly anything when it comes to cooking.

Most people dump more than that down the drain when they don't bother to finish the glass of water they've poured themselves.

It's a piddly amount. Hardly anything. Right?

Yeah, except when you gain it. Then it all of a sudden turns into a lead weight. An amount that you're sure is equal to the weight of the world. It's amazing how our perspective changes when it's a figure you don't want to see or hear. Your mind can distort that quarter cup of water into a litre, a gallon, a shitload.

That is what I was up this week, and for the first few minutes I was sad. Up again. This little plateau is really starting to suck. I had to remind myself that 0.2 would be gone in a matter of a trip to the bathroom. It was there because I spent most of this week sick with a fever and had the hot dog fingers to show how much excess water my body felt it needed to hold. Once I managed to work out the logic, the water cooler bottle turned back into a little measuring cup, everything is going to be alright.

Sometimes it's not up to others to talk you off the ledge. Sometimes, you have to tell yourself to get the fuck back in here before you do something lame.

I did manage to make it to the gym on Monday morning before the sick hit, and it was a great fucking workout. Motorhead's "No Sleep til Hammersmith" and a treadmill set to "crazy", I felt fantastic afterward. I'm really looking forward to attempting it all again this week.

Because we all just keep going. Measuring cups aside, we all just keep going.

xo
lb

PS: My roller skates should arrive this week. No matter where you live, you will hear me squeal. Guaranteed.

The Reckoning

Okay, it really wasn't that bad this morning at weigh-in. Yeah, I was up 2.6, but in the grand scheme of things it's not terrible. I mean, I knew EXACTLY what I was doing over the holidays and I knew it would cost me. I'm okay with it, I know the work I have to do to get back to where I was, so it's cool runnins. Rock steady, baby.

I'm getting psyched to get to the gym this week. Not going last week due to the fact that I was a lazy asshole was a mistake. Over and done.

I've embarked on a new and very exciting adventure, that is actually pants-shittingly scary/awesome. I'm not going to divulge the details yet, but man alive, am I excited and shocked that I actually put the wheels in motion. AND it will help with the boomin' curves acquisition. RIGHT ON. Fuck Yeah!!!

Two thousand ten, eh? Here's to seeing the 50lb mark at some point this year. It will take time, I know, but it will happen. If I happen to get beyond that, even better.

hold tight, here we go.

xo
LB

PS: Anyone out there use that SparkPeople site? Lemme know what that shit's all about.

aaaaaand....go.

So here we are, the flip side of new year's. It's early and I'm sitting here reading lots of retrospective stuff and thinking about what 2009 was to me. Usually I don't get all reflective, but goddamn it, I am proud of what I accomplished this year.

In about 2 weeks, I will have been on the lard removal wagon for a whole year. Non-stop. That is the longest I have ever made an effort to get rid of this physical baggage. I've made the food choices (good and bad), counted the points and stepped on the scale every Saturday, regardless of what the outcome might have been.

Good for me. I don't say that often, but good for me.

I also joined the Y and managed to actually GO. A fair bit too. There's room for improvement there but that's not the point. My point is that my membership is still valid, used and enjoyed. There's a first time for everything.

So, here we go, 2010. This is going to be a big year. I am not setting any lofty numerical goals because what comes off, comes off. The fact that i'm continuing to make the effort is enough for me. This will be a big year of hard work, new experiences and taking NO prisoners.

This is not THE year, this is ANOTHER year, which is far more inspiring for me.

xo
Lesley B.