What's the problem?

Indeed, what IS the problem?  Actually, I don't know if "problem" is the term that I would really use.  More of an issue, a hiccup, a hitch in the giddyup, so to speak.

Really, it's nothing new.  Ask anybody who has gone back and forth in this process and they'll tell you the same thing.  You get going, all gung-ho, and once the initial fever cools down and things become routine, something falls to the wayside a little bit.

I should clarify that I'm not pouting because I fell of the wagon or anything.  I'm still working on ditching the lard, and doing pretty well I might add, but 2 things slowed down this week.  One through no fault of my own, the other was on me completely.

First casualty:  the gym.  Not one trip to the gym this week.  Not even close.  It wasn't for lack of wanting to keep on with what I'm doing, that I can say to my credit.  After the show last Saturday (my band played for the last time, it was a great good-bye), I got totally taken down by the cold that everyone and their brother seems to have.  I am still suffering the end of it, but at least it's getting better.  It has been a brutal week, though, a brutal, snotty week in which my voice temporarily dropped 3 octaves before I lost it altogether. Now that "The Crud" is on the run, I am solidly committed to a goal of at least 3 morning visits to the gym to get back to where I was before.  It has to happen. Absolutely.

Second casualty:  this is where I totally eat shit and hold myself responsible.  Tracking. Actually, a distinct lack thereof.  How my brain works is a complete and total mystery to me most of the time, and my brain made the weird decision to go rogue and decide that tracking didn't need to be done.  My lazy fucking brain. The fact that I put my book away has made it truly out of sight and out of mind.  How can my brain, which is usually pretty dependable, be so easily fooled?  For real!

As of two minutes ago, my tracker has been put back into plain sight, right beside the pen (I can't afford to let my brain get away with that trickery again, all tools need to remain in plain sight from now on). 

I'm glad that these two trip ups are so minor in nature (in my opinion), and it didn't lead me to fucking shoot the works and launch into a magnificent spiral of bad habits and self pity.  I've done that a million times, I'm pretty much a pro at it by now.  Nope, I kept myself aware, haven't missed a weigh-in, and I'm really not beating myself up too badly about it.  I can't help that I got sick, the overtime at work has to happen, and I've given myself a stern talking to about the tracking.

Issues identified, corrections are in progress.

In addition to the issue resolutions, I'm throwing myself back into research and digging further for motivation.  I've got an excellent support network with various levels of experience and empathy/identification.  I'm a lucky girl in that respect.  

And then, there's this blog.  I realize that not a lot of people read it anymore (if anyone does at all), but I've decided to keep it going.  Mostly, it's for selfish reasons:  the main selfish reason is that the writing helps my weight loss.  I could talk about my various experience until the cows come home, but eventually eyes start to glaze over and the conversation trickles off to another subject.  Here, I'm just saying everything I need to say, and whether or not anyone reads it doesn't concern me.  If someone stumbles across it and finds it useful or helpful, that's a total bonus.

Alright, on with Sunday.  One last day of rest to heal up this cold, and then it's back to business tomorrow morning.

xo
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