Pause.

It was weird waking up yesterday knowing that I wasn't going to my meeting. I knew I wouldn't see my usual people, I wouldn't hear what the topic was for the day, I wouldn't be standing on the scale. It was weird. I'm still torn up about what to do.

I described how I'm feeling to a friend as "the middle of a break-up". Where you don't know which direction you'll go in, and from here on in, nothing will ever feel like it did before.

Simply put, I do not know what I will do. I was taken down by the flu this week, so it wasn't a good measure of how I would do outside of my usual program. I'm registering with a new family doctor this week who has a nutritionist on staff who's services are covered by our provincial health care. That is an avenue I'd like to explore, also I will be going back to my beloved Y so I can get back in the pool.

But, I already miss the saturday community feeling. Being around other people who suffer through what I do on a daily basis, and the guidance of an amazing leader.

Right now, I'm full of sadness and doubt, but I'm also filled with the desire to change. I hope the answer comes soon, because the main focus of my life being up in the air doesn't feel too great.

XO
LB