Consider it Spanked.

Down down down this week, a whole 2.4. Feels pretty damn good, especially because today is my 1 year mark, and I had hoped to see a good result.

A year ago, I made the best decision of my life and went to a meeting. I was miserable. I was sore. I was scared. But the minute I walked in there, I knew it was the right thing to do. I'm proud of the fact that I've come this far, and it's an excellent start to a better life.

Now, let me tell you what's up my ass about today's (and last week's) meetings: the chatty fatties behind me. It's awesome that they're there, making changes for themselves, all that. However, if I have to sit through another fucking meeting hearing them blather on and on about their new sweater dresses, how tights go with everything (EVERYTHING!), and how shitty it is that their new orthotics don't fit in their fucking Ugg boots properly, I'm going to fucking beat them to death with their huge, ugly, obnoxious purses.

And I will count it as motherfucking activity points.

If you're not there to listen and participate in the group discussion, don't stay for the fucking meeting. I sure as hell ain't gaining any insight or support listening to you ramble on about your completely unflattering but totally hip wardrobe.

Yes, this issue is well and truly up my ass, and if it continues, my big size 11 doc martens will be up theirs.

Whoo! that felt good. Almost broke a sweat typing it, that's how annoyed I am! ahahah

Exciting things happen this week, there will be a photo or two! YIPEEEE! Stay tuned...

peace out!
LB

Bad Case of Hot Dog Fingers.

o.2 lbs. From what I can figure, that's about a quarter cup of water, right?

If someone handed me a quarter cup of water to drink, I'd want more.

A quarter cup of water is hardly anything when it comes to cooking.

Most people dump more than that down the drain when they don't bother to finish the glass of water they've poured themselves.

It's a piddly amount. Hardly anything. Right?

Yeah, except when you gain it. Then it all of a sudden turns into a lead weight. An amount that you're sure is equal to the weight of the world. It's amazing how our perspective changes when it's a figure you don't want to see or hear. Your mind can distort that quarter cup of water into a litre, a gallon, a shitload.

That is what I was up this week, and for the first few minutes I was sad. Up again. This little plateau is really starting to suck. I had to remind myself that 0.2 would be gone in a matter of a trip to the bathroom. It was there because I spent most of this week sick with a fever and had the hot dog fingers to show how much excess water my body felt it needed to hold. Once I managed to work out the logic, the water cooler bottle turned back into a little measuring cup, everything is going to be alright.

Sometimes it's not up to others to talk you off the ledge. Sometimes, you have to tell yourself to get the fuck back in here before you do something lame.

I did manage to make it to the gym on Monday morning before the sick hit, and it was a great fucking workout. Motorhead's "No Sleep til Hammersmith" and a treadmill set to "crazy", I felt fantastic afterward. I'm really looking forward to attempting it all again this week.

Because we all just keep going. Measuring cups aside, we all just keep going.

xo
lb

PS: My roller skates should arrive this week. No matter where you live, you will hear me squeal. Guaranteed.

The Reckoning

Okay, it really wasn't that bad this morning at weigh-in. Yeah, I was up 2.6, but in the grand scheme of things it's not terrible. I mean, I knew EXACTLY what I was doing over the holidays and I knew it would cost me. I'm okay with it, I know the work I have to do to get back to where I was, so it's cool runnins. Rock steady, baby.

I'm getting psyched to get to the gym this week. Not going last week due to the fact that I was a lazy asshole was a mistake. Over and done.

I've embarked on a new and very exciting adventure, that is actually pants-shittingly scary/awesome. I'm not going to divulge the details yet, but man alive, am I excited and shocked that I actually put the wheels in motion. AND it will help with the boomin' curves acquisition. RIGHT ON. Fuck Yeah!!!

Two thousand ten, eh? Here's to seeing the 50lb mark at some point this year. It will take time, I know, but it will happen. If I happen to get beyond that, even better.

hold tight, here we go.

xo
LB

PS: Anyone out there use that SparkPeople site? Lemme know what that shit's all about.

aaaaaand....go.

So here we are, the flip side of new year's. It's early and I'm sitting here reading lots of retrospective stuff and thinking about what 2009 was to me. Usually I don't get all reflective, but goddamn it, I am proud of what I accomplished this year.

In about 2 weeks, I will have been on the lard removal wagon for a whole year. Non-stop. That is the longest I have ever made an effort to get rid of this physical baggage. I've made the food choices (good and bad), counted the points and stepped on the scale every Saturday, regardless of what the outcome might have been.

Good for me. I don't say that often, but good for me.

I also joined the Y and managed to actually GO. A fair bit too. There's room for improvement there but that's not the point. My point is that my membership is still valid, used and enjoyed. There's a first time for everything.

So, here we go, 2010. This is going to be a big year. I am not setting any lofty numerical goals because what comes off, comes off. The fact that i'm continuing to make the effort is enough for me. This will be a big year of hard work, new experiences and taking NO prisoners.

This is not THE year, this is ANOTHER year, which is far more inspiring for me.

xo
Lesley B.

"Lookin' at my gucci, it's about that time..."

I just woke up from a night of fuuuuucked up dreams that seemed to go on FOREVER. Thanks a lot, brain. Why you gotta be like that? I have a feeling it had something to do with what I ate for dinner last night (stuff that is originally frozen and in a box is no longer my friend, it would seem. That's a good thing, mostly). So I'm up early on my last day off of this holiday weekend thing and I felt the need to ramble.

A lot of sitting and knitting has happened this weekend and that gives me a lot of time to think. Usually I don't think too far ahead about the year to come, but this year is different. I'm coming up on 1 year of attempting to ditch the lard and I've decided it can't hurt to set a goal or two.

**Please note: these are goals, not resolutions. Resolutions are vehicles of guilt. Goals are worked toward. Big difference. **

For the past couple of months, if I'm truly honest about it, I've been fucking the dog when it comes to weight loss and activity. Not to say that I haven't been working at it, because I have, I just haven't been working as hard as I should, or even as hard as I can. It's pretty evident in my lack of blogging, because where there's blog, there's fire. My fire was burning out a little, so it's time to get stoked. For reals.

I realized how much I want that "Holy Shit! Factor". Yeah, it's vain and self-serving but I don't care. I want people who haven't seen me in a while to be dumbfounded. How did I do it, I look fantastic. I've never had that, and I want it. I make no apologies for it, because there isn't a person alive who hasn't wanted something like that at some point. Something about casting the first stone, something about sucking it.

Now is the time to do it. I'm in hibernation/hermit mode at the moment, which means you pretty much have to come see me at work if you want to see me outside my house. Correction: starting tomorrow, you can add the Y to that list if you're willing to wake up that early.

Yes, friends, it's time to get back to the early morning grind. It's time to set the alarm for 4:45 a.m. and it's time to kick out the jams before work. It's time to get back to the regime. Lots of cardio, lots of sweat, lots of laundry.

that's one of a few goals I have in mind for 2010, to keep working at it both in food and in activity, and to get to a good solid weight lost number by this time next year.

There's another super fun and awesome goal that has been set in my mind, but I don't want to blab about that just yet. Gotta make sure my heart doesn't explode or certain joints don't collapse altogether when I try it before I say "yeah, I'm doing this".

So, happy new year to all of you guys, here's to pushing the restart button if you need to, and keep going to the people who've been keeping up the fight all this time.

xo
LB

hmpf.

Another week and another little tiny tiny, yet completely annoying, gain.

0.6. Honestly, I wish I knew what the hell did that. I tracked, stayed on plan, everything and yet, there it is. Booooooo. It irritates me, but it's done now so onward we go.

I gotta wonder if it has anything to do with artificial sweetener. Besides all the "oh they human body is mysterious blah blah blah", I've been using artificial sweetener more and more in my coffee at work, and putting it on my cereal instead of brown sugar. I'm wondering if my body doesn't know how to process it. I'm gonna cut it out and see what happens.

Ankle treatments are done for now, which is awesome because I hates them needles. They freak me out almost as much as sidewalks after freezing rain. Ankle feels good, though, so let's hope that this was the ticket.

Back to the gym this week, time to get back into that swing of things. Need to build up my cardio endurance so I can eventually get some skates on my feets. It's a goal for 2010.

Christmas is coming, that's nuts. I'm not overly concerned about holiday dietary disasters. I don't come into a lot of contact with naughty no-no situations so I feel alright. I'm not stressed out about it whatsoever.

So yeah, another Boooooooooooooooring post from me. Sawry.

xo
LB

Who, me?

Faaaaak! Sorry dudes. Another couple of weeks slipped by and I've neglected this poor blog so badly.

I'm still on the wagon, but on somewhat of a plateau. Not a terrible one, but it is starting to get on my tits a little. Up 0.8, down 2, up 1.2, down 0.8 blah blah blah blah.

Going to the gym hasn't even been on the radar for weeks, and that makes me sad. Work has been insane beyond the membrane so that is eating my morning time and I refuse to go after work because it's just busy and annoying. But still, I am getting at least 40 minutes of rock solid cardio in by walking to and from work. The transit strike (read: greedy fucking bastards whining about their already obscene pay rate) is finally almost over, but they can go fuck themselves. The only time I ride the bus is to get to fat camp on Saturdays, and from now on, weather and ankle permitting, I'll walk to and from. I will give those fucks as little of my money as possible. Argh.

Oh yeah, the ankle. I've had 2 out of 3 injections and it seems to be doing a nice job. Lots less pain and my ankle is tolerating a lot more stress etc. I am hoping it lasts longer than the 6 months it's supposed to, keep your fingers crossed.

Hopefully I'll be back soon, and more interesting at that. I'm in super knitting mode, I just whipped out a pair of mittens yesterday, stripey to match my winter coat/hoodie combo.



I got all bundled up the other morning and decided to document how ridiculous I looked. Par expample:
There's a whole series of them, this is the only one that hides how badly I need to do my eyebrows. I made the scarf I'm wearing, I love that thing. Great colours, greet feel. It's mystery yarn that I got in a bag of "my mom was going to throw it away but hey, you knit!" yarn from my friend Baker a few years ago. I love those kinds of bags.

So yeah, totally boring post. But at least I managed to avoid the recently common topic of shitting. SO many people were talking about their poop. Now people are talking about the holidays. SAME THING. Just kidding. I'll ramble on about holiday eating next week, and how the panic doesn't reeeaaallly apply to me.

peace oot.

xo
lb