Refocus.

I started tracking again today. Over the past 6 weeks, I haven't been writing anything down, mostly because I knew that I was well within my daily allowance. Nothing crazy, nothing out of the ordinary.

But still, I was feeling removed and unfocused on the ultimate task at hand. I've already talked about missing my weekly meetings and weigh-ins, but after giving it a fair bit of honest thought this afternoon, I realized I was missing the whole deal.

So, I called pops and asked him to take me to my usual meeting on Saturday (I got permission to sit in on the meeting) and I started writing down what is happening food-wise.

It feels good that i'm back to taking action. Yes, I was towing the line, but half assedly. I may not be able to weigh in or go to the gym, but at least I'm doing something. It counts.

xo
lb

And I'm runnin', Police on My Back

So, I've managed to nail my head three times on my open bathroom window today, AND I managed to kill my camera. Dead dead dead. I also had a mishap involving a grain of cat litter and my eye, but I'm choosing not to tell anyone about that.

Yup, it's been a totally radical day so far.

On the great bone fusion of 2010 goes. I paid a visit to bone doctor last wednesday where the purple cast of awesome was FINALLY removed from my leg. Let me tell you: fibreglass casts and hot/humid Ontario summers do not get along well. Not one bit. When the nurse cut that mammajamma off my leg, what was contained within (besides 6 weeks of leg hair growth) was nasty. A splendid cast rash that still hasn't totally gone away, despite slathering it with that stuff you use on baby butts.

I'm still not weight bearing, I get to hop around for another 6 weeks, but the fact that I get to wear (and not wear) my removable boot cast is totally awesome.

Thank god I held on to my aircast from the initial shitshow seven years ago, otherwise I would have been out a nice $200. This thing is rad even if just for the fact that you can adjust the air pressure depending on how swollen or bombed out your ankle is feeling.

I think I need to sit in on a meeting soon. I am just missing it much too much. I need to calibrate my brain a bit and a meeting would do the trick for sure. Still can't weigh in, but I can't worry about that now.

I'll leave you with my favourite Clash track at the moment. I'm knee deep in Sandinista! while I knit, thank god it's a triple album.




Peace oot, all.

XO
LB

Spatula City

My handy helpful hint o' the day: if you're going to be spending 3 months cooped up in your home, especially if it's a small-ish apartment, make sure you have cable television.

I went into this shit thinking I'd be alright, that four years of only 2 somewhat clear channels on my ancient television had toughened me up. I was wrong. And now that the constant broadcast of soccer games on one of those channels has cancelled out whatever variety was left, I have confirmed that I'm a dumbass for not giving in.

Mind you, I have a shitload of movies and books here with me, but part of me needs the variety of flipping through the channels to either find something ridiculous to watch, or confirm that I'm not missing anything. I need that brain drain.

I'm not going to bother getting it hooked up now since I'm halfway through this deal, but I will make a mental note if this situation arises again down the line (oh god help me if it does).

Also, if you're gonna have your ankle fused, spend as much time as possible building up your leg muscles beforehand. This hopping around shit is killing me, and I'm pretty sure my left (uninjured) leg is just going to refuse to do any more sometime soon. Nope, sorry lady, you're on your own.

So, cable tv and killer leg muscles, that's what you need. Trust me.

xo
LB

If we cannot work it out, we're gonna have to fight.

jeez. You'd think that since I had all kinds of time on my hands, I'd be posting more often even if just out of sheer boredom. Doesn't seem to be the case.

I'm still under orthopedic lock-up, still healing, the usual. I'm almost at the halfway mark (ugh.)

I'm trying to switch up my menu this week and go for more meats and vegetables, less of the same old shit. Nothing bad has been happening here food-wise, I just need to get even more back to basics in what I'm eating.

Not going to my weekly meetings is a fucking drag and a half. Not being able to get on a scale is even worse because I don't fully know what's happening in terms of numbers. I can't even go with the "oh, it feels like I'm losing/gaining/maintaining" because all I'm doing is laying or sitting around all goddamn day. Honestly, I feel like stupid Jabba the Hut most of the time.

Hopefully this week they'll put me in the removable aircast. that will do a bit for my brain because it denotes progress. I won't be weight bearing yet, but that doesn't matter much, it is another phase of this recovery and I need to move forward.

On a side note: big ups to my best friend Julie over at Part-Mom, Part-Nerd. She's such a good friend that she couldn't let me suffer through broken bones and super cool casts by myself so she up and broke a small bone in her foot last weekend. I plan on preaching to her about the power and usefulness of a thermos and an apron with many pockets for food transport. Keeping your foot elevated all day fucking sucks. Solidarity, sister.

Not much else going on around here. A bunch of my pals that I went through graphic design with chipped in and got me a hefty gift certificate for use at my tattoo shop and I went and booked my time this week. Holy shit, how fucking exciting is that! YAYAYAYAY! August 4th is the day of days and I can't wait. The finished product will be ridiculous and fun, and will most likely hurt like a son of a bitch, but oh well. Ain't no thang.

Time to forage for some lunch, turn up Black Sabbath's "Never Say Die!" album and get to knitting.



Peace oot!

XO
LB

Voices from the War.

I'm dying to get back to the gym.

No, I never thought I would utter those words, but I just did. And brothers and sisters, word is bond.

I am missing the Y so much, I actually woke up and felt really and truly frustrated that I couldn't just throw on some gym clothes and boot it down there for at least a swim. This feeling stems not only from the whole surgery/recovery thing, but also because I stopped a month or two before my surgery. I miss it. I miss the benefits of it, and how it improved all aspects of my health.

Also, I miss the knowledge that I was physically improving myself. I miss being confident in the fact that I was helping my situation and working toward something I've wanted longer than I can remember. I miss being in the trenches and fighting the good fight.

I still have another 2 1/2 weeks in this cast, and then 6 weeks in the boot (still not weight-bearing). I'm doing what I can do while I'm still out of commission but it ain't the same. I am actually feeling the physical need for exercise and focus. I can feel the War Measures Act quietly shouting out commands in the back of my mind, reminding me that it's still there. Fucking right.

The day that I can get back to my meetings, back on the scale and back to the gym can't come too soon, even if it's just in the pool at first.

Come on, August.

xx
lb

Start wearing purple for me now.

Ladies and gentlemen, cast number two:

Yup, a big, purple fibreglass cast. This one stays on for the next 4 weeks, then I'll probably be moving into the air cast thing. That thing rules because it's removable. I dream of such things right now.

So, I have a big 6-7 inch incision, and I'm told I have 6 screws and a plate in there. I'm going to order a disc of my x-rays next time so I can gross everyone I know out. Isn't that what facebook is for?

I think I might have lost a bit of weight. I neglected to wear a belt today and the whole time my pants were hanging off my ass. Thank god I wore decent underwear.

So yeah, that's wednesday's funsies. Time for lunch and a nap. I thought I only turned 35 on Sunday, but apparently I turned 80. Oh well.

xo
lb

Driven to distraction.

So bored. SO very bored.

yes, I'm knitting and watching movies, but this whole orthopedic lock-up jazz has got me a bit down. I have a hankerin' to go for a walk or a swim or something. No freaking dice.

I'm blogging because I'm procrastinating. Pathetic, really, since I have all of TWO things I should be doing right now. One is getting the garbage together so my landlord can put it on the curb tonight and the other is shaving my leg. Yup, just one leg. But can I be motivated to do either of those things? No sir!

Instead I'm posting a blog instead of putting myself through the torture that is All My Children (seriously, could that show be any shittier and low budget?!?).

My weight remains a complete mystery to me since I can't physically weigh in. I've been eating pretty right-on, so I can't be too far off the mark. Ho hum.

Alright, so best laid plan avoidance gone to waste, my ankle is all swollen up due to the humidity around here (but I love this weather anyway) so off I go to balance precariously on one foot while I get shit done.

peace oot
LB